” I was born black, I lived black, and I’m gonna die black, probably because some cracker knows I’m black-better -than you nigga- is probably gonna put a bullet in the back of my head.” The Spook Who Sat by the Door.
I remember when I was younger growing up, my brother and sisters and I were at the bus stop with my grandmother (who raised us) waiting for the bus to take us to school. We were young, maybe 7-12 years old. So we were jumping around acting silly as kids do, and there was a white woman who walked up, and my grandmother popped us and told us to stop acting foolish. The whole time there were other people waiting at the bus stop with us, other black people that is, but when this white woman walks up, my grandmother snapped at us and told us to settle down. We had to behave a certain way. At the time, I didn’t understand the psychology of that moment. “As Frederick Douglas put it: Trained up from the cradle to think and feel their masters were superior and invested with a sort of sacredness.” There were few who could rise above the control, which that sentiment exercised.
Fast forward 20 years later, and here I am, at Dixon Correctional Center. I’m 32 years old, and I’ve been locked up for 15 years for 1st degree murder, on another black man. So what do I believe is the root cause of violence committed by black men in our own communities? The simple and obvious answer is poverty and yes, poverty is a part of the problem. However, what I believe is the environment that poverty breeds is more of the problem than poverty itself. The real problem is the effect the environment has on beliefs, self- esteem, self-value and dreams. It’s extremely difficult to foster success in an environment that’s filled with despair, failure, frustration, deprivation, and desperation.
We’re taught at a young age, in most cases unconsciously, that we are inferior to white people and every other race. One solution to stop or curtail violence in our communities is to allow the very people that caused most of it the opportunity to fix it. A lot of the black men committing violence in their communities fathers, brothers, uncles, etc., are locked up in prisons across this so called “Great Country.” This causes generations of fatherless children.
We are the answer, meaning black men who are conscious of themselves, and understanding the psyche and mentality of those who are at risk of becoming a victim of their circumstances. Those of us who can help stop violence among black men in our communities will probably never get a chance, because of outrageous sentences being given to us. There has to be a way for us to become involved in fixing the problems we’ve caused.
“He who learns, teaches, he who teaches, learns.” “Black men, you were once great, you shall be great again.” Marcus Garvey.
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