PRISONERS EXCHANGE: Profile in Excellence
Featuring Sherman ‘Spearo’ Spears
Building A Bridge To The Outside World
In a necessary move to stem the spread of the covid—19 virus, the nation’s prisons were forced to lockdown in March of 2020. That lockdown will most likely remain in place for the rest of the year. However, prior to the lockdown a handful of prisoners made significant contributions that positively impacted the 
culture of the prison in which they reside. One of those prisoners is Sherman “Spearo” Spears. The men in the Dixon C.C. of Illinois requested and secured approval to hold several events during Black History Month. Spearo was selected by his peers to be the Chairman of the committee on Black History Month activities.
That chairmanship carried big responsibilities, beginning with selecting the theme of the event. Spearo worked with the leadership team of the Dixon C.C. Theater Workshop to select “My Modern Black Experience” as the theme. As the chairman of the committee, Spearo worked with the offender director of the Theater Workshop to design and obtain final approval for all the months activities. He also wrote the supervisor of the Prison Dietary (the chow hall) Department to secure the first ever Black History Month meal in the prison’s recent history. (See Exhibits to mark the chairman’s work).
The project that Spearo put most of his energy into was the essay contest. He had to convince some of his fellow committee men to follow his lead in choosing voting as the topic of the 
essay challenge. Some of the members thought that since prisoners can’t vote that it shouldn’t be the topic. Spearo doubled down and explained that although we can’t vote, in choosing voting as the topic we can influence outside the prison walls. “OUR ESSAY CAN INSPIRE OUR FAMILIES” was what Spearo counseled and his determination was contagious. The essay became a therapeutic exercise for the prison and a bridge to the outside community.
OUR CONVERSATION WITH SHERMAN SPEARO SPEARS PART 1
Growing up in the village, the mob and prison.
PE: What was it like growing up in the village?
Spearo: It was peaceful,it was a good neighborhood when I was a child. We had community centers, Boys Club and a YMCA. We had all kinds of sports activities going on, and the kids were allowed to use the University of Illinois Chicago campus facilities during the summer. This is where I learned to swim and do gymnastics. Growing up there was just like a village full of good people and families.
PE: Well that’s not consistent with the reputation of the village or other public housing projects in Chicago. So why the disconnect?
Spearo: Looking back things started changing in the late 60’s. It came in the aftermath of MLK’s assassination, pent up rage lead to the burning of the west side and that help cause the arrest of the community’s economic base. I didn’t understand it as a kid, but I felt things changing.
PE: Explain what it felt like to you. Tell us something that happen either in the neighborhood or to you personally that made that change more than a feeling?
Spearo: I never shared this before …but,I was once sexually molested as a child. I was too young to explain this to my parents because I did not understand it, so I just suppressed my feeling about it. Another thing that happened,and this was in the 1970’s on July 4th, my father was murdered on his job. I was almost nine years old when this happened.
PE: Man brother, sorry to hear that, please accept our condolences.
Spearo: I appreciate that, as I was explaining, that really rocked my family. It provoked so much anger and pain in me and it was the beginning of me acting out. There was so much rage that built up and festered inside me. No child should possess such rage at that young age.
PE: For most young men entering their teenage years there is a relationship shift between us and our friends. The community resources we enjoyed and utilized as kids are no longer open to us. We begin to feel kind of left out there on our own, is that what you experienced?
Spearo: Yeah, I felt like the village was not as peaceful or safe as I thought it was. I understand now that entering the 70’s the troubles of the 60’s bubbled over and made the people in the area harder, that it made everything harder. I began to think that in order to protect my family and myself, I had to be hard so I tapped into that boiling rage inside. That is how I began my teenage years. Eventually, I was introduced to drugs and gangs. Even though I loved growing up in the village, it’s the place where I found and lost my innocence.
PE: What do you mean, you lost your innocence?
Spearo: I’m talking about drugs! First, I got introduced to weed by some older guys. We would smoke it for fun. It also seems to have another benefit for me, it helps me keep my rage in check. I believe that it was creating a wall between the world and the rage inside of me.
PE: For many people marijuana is a gateway drug, what happened when that gate was opened for you?
Spearo: I didn’t just let it open up, I kicked the gate down. I went from buying weed to selling it, to using cocaine and selling cocaine, to using heroin and selling heroin all really quickly. Using or selling it, I was addicted to it all. I joined the mob and it all got bigger and the hole I was digging myself into got deeper. That is how I ended up in prison, the first time.
PE: What impact did going to prison have on you?
Spearo: When people talk about it being a cycle that is a perfectly accurate description. That is the impact it had on me. I was spiraling out of control and prison was just one more low for me to experience.
PE: Did the prison system work for you? Meaning was the system equipped with the right measures to be a catalyst for change for you?
Spearo: In prison I got a chance to sit still and consider things. I got my G. E. D. in two months, but I wasn’t turned inside out yet. I was still struggling to see the world right. The prison system had some of the tools I needed to help me work on me, but it didn’t provide that younger me the vision of what a better me could be like.
PE: So, what happened when you got out?
Spearo: The prisoners who become Prisoner Activist and Mentors must undergo some changes and to be respected they have to spend some time in the trenches. To be effective and authentic they have to experience some high-level personal growth. They have to have some scars and still be man enough to walk through the fires of transformation.
Faith is almost always the catalyst because learning to represent something greater than yourself takes heart, spirit and stamina. They must do this under the glare of the thousands of scrutinizing eyes of their fellow prisoners who are always looking for evidence that you are not real.
PE: You were in a really dark place, how did you pull yourself together?
Spearo: On this one night there was a powerful storm. It was so bad that the power went out in the cellhouse. There was no
TV, radio or lights. I just laid there in my bunk and cried silently so my cellie could not hear me. I cried from a lifetime of pain, hurt and misery. During this hurt and pain, just like on the out—side, there was a storm raging inside of me. In between these silent sobs I heard this gentle but strong voice speak to me. I heard “I got you, I’m with you.” I knew whose voice I heard. It was God’s voice speaking to me. I told my cellie, “God just spoke to me!” I was so excited, and he said “yeah, okay”, he didn’t believe me. I did not care because I knew it was true.
PE: That’s Powerful!
Spearo: I excepted Christ as my Lord and Savior that stormy night, it was July 16,2016.
PE: So how did you emerge from that experience, tell us what happen next?
Spearo: Through my faith in Christ I had the strength to stop using drugs cold turkey. I also stopped smoking, cursing and looking at porn magazines. My transformation was an example for many other prisoners so I started my humble ministry helping other prisoners to find their way to Christ.
PE: Did you find some prisoners who didn’t take you seriously?
Spearo: Absolutely, but I didn’t let that deter me. I understood why people doubted me, because of the life I lead before I found Christ.
Spearo: I had an extremely complicated case. I was only out for nine months before they rearrested me for the same crime on an upgraded charge. I did not think it was just! So, eventually when I was released the second time, I was bitter about the whole ordeal. Looking back, what I felt more than anything was pressure.
PE: How so?
Spearo: I was a father and unemployed. I tried college but that wasn’t something I was prepared to see through. Honestly, I felt like it would take too long to pay off. I felt I had to make something happen 
right then. I did what I knew how to do and I did what I thought I was good at. I made more money than I had ever seen before and I was consuming more drugs than ever. Once again I was an addict and lost control.
PE: What did being out of control cause. What did that look like?
Spearo: It looked like a monster, and it felt like one too. The drugs didn’t put a wall between my rage and the world this time, it actually intensified my rage. I terrorized my community. I sold poison to my people. I fueled the destruction of I don’t know how many lives. The only thing that stopped me was going back to prison for a third time.
PE: For this case?
Spearo: Yes, I have a murder, attempted murder, and home invasion. I was facing the Death Penalty. I was found guilty and received a sentence of natural life without parole. That was 1989.
PE: So, tell me about it. What did that feel like?
Spearo: I arrived to prison still addicted to drugs, gang banging, but empty emotionally and spiritually. I became deeply depressed and actually spent my first sixteen years in prison like a zombie not caring if I lived or died.
PART 2 TRANSFORMATION
Spearo story is typical of the long-term prisoners serving life and de-facto life sentences in the nation’s prisons. There’s a percentage of them that are innocent thus wrongfully convicted. There are even more who have been over—charged and unjustly sentenced to excessive sentences in the American Criminal Justice System that is infected by systemic racism.
Spearo is one of the men who accepts responsibility and does his time helping others find their way. But that doesn’t happen overnight.
Spearo: Being a follower of Christ is the hardest journey I have ever undertaken. It is difficult, challenging and a struggle every day, and that is because the enemy will keep you under attack. My fellow prisoners doubting me was just another one of the tactics the enemy used to hamper me.
PE: I know that had to be difficult, did those guys close to you doubt you too?
Spearo: My own family doubted me but, to answer your question, yes a few did. However, most of my friends could see the change all over me and certainly accepted me as a changed man. Those relationships are flourishing and have also led many of them to Christ.
PE: Give us a testimony about your transformation. Share with us what your journey has been Like?
Spearo: Once my transformation took place and my desire to have an intimate relationship with Christ, my studies took on a life of its own. Through this feeding of my spirit God allowed me to learn about forgiveness, empathy, remorse, shame and the ability to feel just a smidgen of the pain and heartache I’ve caused throughout my journey of walking in the dark. For instance, I had just completed a very intense study of the Bible. I studied the scripture from the Strong’s Concordance, Strong’s Commentary and The Bible Dictionary. I was closing out the study with a prayer in the spirit and somehow, I was taken into some kind of brief flashback of the many activities of my life up until that point. I can recall a lot of different flashes during this prayer. I became overwhelmed with emotion and sobbed harder than I have ever sobbed before in my life. After this prayer concluded my ability to understand remorse, shame, compassion, empathy was taken to an all-time higher level. All I could do was regret all the pain I have caused everyone, and I am still crying today. The pain and rage I suffered at a young age from being molested and having my father taken from me suddenly disappeared. I no longer wanted to kill those responsible although that hatred drove me as a child. I learned to forgive those men. I begged God to forgive me for the damage, pain and disruption I caused others through my darkness. What I still find most difficult to do is to forgive myself. I tormented myself mentally for years because I was now finally able to see and recognize that the very people I called myself protecting and keeping safe from the pain I had experienced at a young age were the very people I hurt.
My transformation left me vulnerable, humble, transparent and extremely uncomfortable. My hurt and pains never allowed me to feel any of those things. Remember, “I was a hardened gangster with a notorious rep.” I was new to this transformation business.
Part 3 Now and What’s Next
When he first arrived, he asked for a tryout for a role in the Dixon Theater Workshop play “Broken Pieces” to be performed that summer. We decided to feature Spearo because of his remarkable story, his ministry and because of what he did when he got to Dixon C.C.
Dixon is a low security prison that rarely accepts lifers but Spearo is only here because he has a stellar prison disciplinary record. He signed up for the Foundation for Life program, (FFL), FFL is an award-winning Christian based program that focuses on the transformational rhythms of our life cycles.
Spearo displayed leadership and character strength. He quickly gained the respect of the workshop members, the Foundation for Life Program and the men of Dixon C.C.
PE: You’ve done a lot of years” behind the walls” (maximum security prison). A few years ago you got moved to Galesburg, a level 2 medium security prison and ultimately you earned your way into Dixon, a multi-level prison, with both level 2 and level 3 prisoners. Dixon has a lot of advantages over the previous prisons you’ve been in, how did it feel to make it here, and get all the valued movement allowed to prisoners here?
Spearo: I ‘ve spent twenty—six years behind the wall in maximum security prisons. It seems like a culture shock but a good one. I feel blessed to be able to make it to Dixon, and my stress level has dropped.
PE: You enrolled in the award-winning Foundation for Life program (FFL), It’s a program credited with a lot of success teaching prisoners about life transformation, spiritual transformation and individual values. What has participation in this program meant for you?
Spearo: It meant the world to me. A prayer that I was praying throughout my journey was answered through this course and it helps me heal from the inside out.
PE: Then you got as we say “involved” and joined The Dixon Theater Workshop. Why?
Spearo: I got “involved” as you say for a couple of reasons. First, it was simply because I wanted to surround myself with all things positive, and if that meant stepping out of my comfort zone and tackling something unfamiliar, then so be it. Second, a very dear friend of mine is the offender director of Dixon Theater Workshop.
PE: You got a part in your first play and you became an actor. During that process you really embraced the role you had as Nardo. In fact you convinced the writing team to let you change some of the dialogue. Was this a result of you connecting with the character?
Spearo: Yes, it most certainly was. I was and am that character, a voice of reason in the midst of the storm!”
PE: You really impressed the workshop leadership team so much so, they asked you to become a member of their committee on Black History Activities for the upcoming Black History Month Feb. 2020. Why do you think they wanted you in that role?
Spearo: I am not qualified to speak for the leadership team, I can only guess that it had something to do with the dedication I’ve demonstrated in studying and delivering my part. When I asked to change the dialogue it not only better represented me, it also blended with the rest of the script. I can only conclude that they saw some untapped potential.
PE: You stepped up and became the chairman of that committee. Because of that you took on a big responsibility with a lot of men looking toward your leadership. How did you handle it?
Spearo: I set up an aggressive schedule in the beginning, the committee needed to spend some time together just chopping it up. Our five-man committee had 2 Christians, 2 Muslims, and 1 God of the earth, a wide array of differing philosophies. We came together quickly. I was an organized man and we took care of business.
PE: As chairman it was your role to organize the essay contest. The committee had to decide on a topic and a transparent method in choosing the winners. During that process you appeared to be on a mission to make voting the topic. Why?
Spearo: I did not want to pick a topic that involved prison life. I wanted the men to think beyond the walls. There was some resistance to the topic because prisoners cannot vote. I convinced the committee to get on board with the idea. Voting is an issue that impacts everybody, and I wanted the men to think about their families and their communities. I wanted them to think about us not being able to vote and just how serious losing that right is. I didn’t want to waste the opportunity to put some work into building that bridge back to the communities.
PE: Did it work out?
Spearo: Yes, it really did. The essays we received were impressive. The men wrote about what they wanted to see change while acknowledging that votes, not violence, creates change. I was really moved and felt like our committee had achieved a positive impact on the culture of the prison we promised the Warden was our mission. The competition sparked some important conversations around the prison. We did good!
PE: I heard you did a big speech when the winners were announced?
Spearo: Laughing, come on man, I did a speech.
PE: We heard it was a big speech!
Spearo: (still smiling) A regular speech bruh, now knock it off!
PE: Alright, I am just saying I hear brothers were clapping loudly.
Spearo: Next question, wait, was that even a question?
PE: Ok, ok I’m back to being serious.
Spearo: Good!
PE: That all took place in Feb. 2020, it is Sept, 2020 right now. There is no way you could have foreseen just how relevant that topic would be. So many people are out in the communities trying to organize the vote. Your decision to insist that our essay be on voting got the men on the inside prepared to have that conversation with their families. That is big!
Spearo: You’re right, I did not know voting was going to be the issue it is now. I just felt moved to do what we did, and if that has had a positive impact the way you say, then that was Gods work. I do hope the men are talking with their families reminding them about the issues in their essays, and I pray it’s making a difference.
PE: Alright Spearo, we like to ask the brothers we interview this question to close out. Here you go… If you could talk to the young teen you used to be, before you lost your innocence, what would you say?
Spearo: The road is long, and the journey will be hard. Patience is a virtue. If you work hard now it will be rewarding in the end. You are a masterpiece, created anew in Christ Jesus, to do the good work planned long ago. (eph 2:10) I would like to also tell that young teenager that he matters and God Loves Him.
PE: GOOD JOB SPEARO, WE APPRECIATE YOU.
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